"I See Digging!"

My son Gabe recently celebrated his 2nd birthday and got a cool tool belt and tools.

Gabe really enjoys watching tools being used.  Last month, everyday on our way to daycare, we passed by a construction site where some sort of pipe was being laid.  Lots of digging with earth moving vehicles.  On our way in the morning and on our way home in the afternoon he'd say, 'I see digging!'. Yesterday he had a blast watching his Uncle Scott fix our front porch steps  (Thanks Scott!).  You can see Gabe is ready to get into the game, pick up the shovel and to help do some digging.  Now I will be the first to tell you, Gabe surely didn't get his love of tools and watching construction from me.  Even though many of my ancestors were supposedly great furniture makers and my dad and his dad were plumbers, I hardly know which end of screwdriver is which.  But perhaps...he did get it from me after all.

A good friend was explaining this weekend about how attendees at a men's ministry retreat he was attending were expressing their worries about the lack of participation and how many of the more seasoned attendees yearned for 'the way it used to be'.  These type of questions constantly arise at these events.

I had to smile as I thought about this issue in light of the men's event I was part of this past summer.  I do understand the concern and the worry.  It's really nothing new.  There's been a persistent decline in mainline denomination men's ministry participation way before I first became involved some 10 years ago.  I remember the topic that day...'was a men's group a viable ministry for our area'?  We talked about how we'd pool men attending several churches together and have them gather as one united group.  This worked for a time and many connections and good things came from those first gatherings of men, but sadly I must say that group no longer meets and hasn't for about 4 or 5 yrs now.  For any man ever involved in men's ministry reading this, you know what I'm talking about; it's frustrating.  By no means is this something unique to the men's ministry program of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ).  But this past summer we tried something different.  We tried something completely different.  We dared to do a new thing.

Even though that initial group has not met for a very long time I've seen growth both in numbers and in spirituality!  I've seen promise and optimism.  I've seen men from those small gatherings remain connected through our larger regional yearly events over the years.  I've seen them stay committed and I've seen them reach out to other men and get them involved.  I saw it this summer.

As my friend said in his post, "One of the most important elements of being a disciple is discipling someone else."  I might not have the knack for being a 'Mr. Fix It' kind of guy, but I do pray I can share with my son and with others the importance of discipling someone.

My son's apparent love of tools and observation of construction work being done is a joy to watch.  The excitement in his tiny voice when he 'ooos and awws' is so genuine.

This summer I was able to shout out,"I see digging!"

Yes! I saw it then and continue to see it now as men work hard to make a difference in the lives of others.  It was very apparent during the 'Xtreme Faith-Bold Action' event at Bethany College (West Virginia), that a group of 200+ men...

      -can do effective spiritual ministry with one another 
      -can effectively engage one another in spiritual mission work 
      -can retain and share the lessons and uplift gained through the experience 
      -can set aside all that works to undo and separate us and come together as One in fellowship
      -can remain optimistic; quell the naysayers and negativism directed at daring to do a new thing
       -can reach out to brothers in need, brothers who are hurting, brothers of all ages, backgrounds and faiths with fraternal encouragement...it can be done!

Men must commit themselves to living out the true nature of brotherly discipleship; be willing to pick a shovel and do some spiritual digging.

A chord was struck, a nerve touched this past summer the reverberations of which are still ringing in my ears; Extreme Faith-Bold Action...  Are...you...ready?  We...are...ready!

Peace,
Ray

   

Thanks for Waiting!

Greetings everyone!
Wow! It's been almost 6 months now since my last post.  I do apologize for stepping away for so long, but for most of you who know me, that have checked in here regularly, know that life has been quite busy for Kim and I as we raise our 2 beautiful young boys, Gabe and Liam.  We've been 'living life like we mean it' (thanks Derek!) and staying very busy indeed.  So for today, I'd like to share with you some pics...greatest hits from our journey so far.  These boys are great!  God has truly blessed us.  I will be returning with more regular posts soon!

Visite the Richmond Metro Zoo in April.  Gabe was in the very early stages of being his shirt's statement: 'Big Brother'.  We had a great day there checking out all the great exhibits.  It's a great way to spend the day. They have giraffes that will come right up to you as you stand on a bridge; several tigers that happened to be frolicking around the day we were there along bears, gorillas, monkeys, etc.  Gabe loved it and well Liam...he slept through it all in the stroller.

Earlier this month, Gabe and his new buddy, Weston took time out to pitch stones into the lake as Liam and I looked on.  We visited some great friends of ours while Weston and Gabe connected with a fun room full of toys.  Then last weekend the guys went to 'Touch-a-Truck' and had a fun day of sitting in truck, tractor and emergency vehicle cabs and...thanks to parental unit Marty, they even got a bit of sit time in the back of a med evac helicopter (right) that was there.  Way cool!

Over the last 6 months, Liam's had plenty of relatives around wanting that all important photo op.  On the right it's with his Great Uncle Ken (Kim's uncle) and on the left it's with his Poppie, my dad.  I don't know who's more excited, Liam or the proud relatives?!

In the middle of all the growing up I was honored to participate and work with the great group of men pictured (L to R: Ralph, Greg, Roger & me) as we saw 2 1/2 yrs of hard work and persistent prayer come to fruition during July's 'Xtreme Faith-Bold Action' Disciples Men event at Bethany College, West Virginia.  It was truly an awesome weekend!! On the left is the awesome labyrinth the men put together in 48 hrs! Amazing!

At first the yearly August Gryder Family beach trip for our foursome didn't look like it would happen, but after realizing that we needed the time to get away as a family and be with everyone we made it to the Outer Banks after all!  It was a short trip, but a great one! Gabe's 2nd trip to the beach was more enjoyable for him this go round.  He and I enjoyed some father son time on the shore.  Gabe also had some fun times with his day care friend, Charlotte at the local pool this summer.

Liam just keeps getting bigger and enjoying life more everyday. He's a very laid back and happy little boy. On the left he seems to be letting us all know that soon he'll be up terrorizing his big brother; tagging along for every opportunity to play and learn from Gabe. But when he's had enough...well sleep takes over...Zzzz.

So Gabe now 2! He had a great construction themed birthday party.  He had a blast in his bouncer as family looked on.  His special week culminated yesterday with some new ishoes and very first concert. He even got to play guitar and sing with his new friend, Andra Moran!

So...this is just a slice of all the joy of parenting and family I've been experiencing.  Sorry to have been away for so long.  Have missed sharing and look forward to reconnecting with you all.

And now I'll share a scripture with you that jumped out at me a couple of weeks back that I've been thinking and praying a lot about.  It's been a great 6 months and I'm very thankful for all I'm been able to be a part of.  More to come!

I see what you’ve done. Now see what I’ve done. I’ve opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don’t have much strength, I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn’t deny me when times were rough.  -Revelation 3:8 "The Message"

Peace and thanks for waiting.
-Ray

Tonight I Wonder...

Tonight I wonder what was on the mind of those first Jesus followers who witnessed him die agonizingly on a tree? What did they expect for their world and for their time? 

No matter where you are on your spiritual journey, no matter your faith, I pray this night that you take just a moment to think about those simple people and how they must have felt all those centuries ago. May we all be humbled by reflecting on this Easter season and gain knowledge for our lives and for our world by remembering those who actually witnessed the Holy Week and the culminating resurrection event. 

May the peace of Christ be with you on this night as you anticipate.

Happy Easter!

-Ray

Liam's Message

Liam & Gabe in 2012

I've been thinking about brothers and what they mean to one another.

Brother is a term of family; connection of male siblings and then there's the connection of non-familial spiritual relationship.  Either way, brothers share a unique sense of connection.   It's important to also note that a spiritual relationship often exists for sibling brothers even though some may not be willing to admit it.

Brothers are special to one another and to their families.  Brothers bond with one another and they act as a bonding agent for families in time of crisis or chaos. Spiritual brothers of the non-familial type are also special to one another because of the mutually shared male bond.  Non-sibling males brotherly bond as well when thrust into chaotic or crisis situations, i.e. soldiers serving together in time of war. 

This past Tuesday my wife gave birth to our second son; a sibling brother named Liam.  Our son, Gabe becomes a big brother at 18 months of age.  In thinking about the special bond that they share I've been considering how unique the relationship between brothers truly is and how deep the bonds of brotherly love go.

Derek & Geoff in 1957

Last week, a good friend of mine's sibling brother died after a heroic battle with cancer.  They are now separated from one another, but I wonder, might they now be more spiritually related or sacredly connected to one another than at any other time during their earthly lives?  The 'connection', the brotherly love we share together here in this world for one another insures that our bonds are forever in place in the spiritual world.   

This past summer, one of my brothers and I had an unfortunate falling out in front of family.  We didn't speak to one another for several weeks.  Now, let me just say, that brother and I have gone several weeks at a time not speaking to one another before, but not because of a falling out.  We were both hurt and not sure how to repair things.  A disagreement between brothers can make days seem like months or even longer.

My spiritual brother and friend, Derek who recently lost his sibling Geoff, pointed out that those of us who have brothers should never take for granted the time we have to spend with our siblings.  Be there for one another and share in each others lives; bond and reflect now on the importance of the sacred connection that the Creator has blessed us with.

The Gryder Boys in 2008

My brother and I patched things up and we even spent a day on the golf course together in order to sort things out and enjoy each other just as brothers.  I will always treasure that day on the links with him.

At the birth of my son Liam this past Tuesday, my first thoughts were of Gabe and how blessed he now is to have that sacred connection of a brother.  I prayerfully thought of my Derek and his passed on brother Geoff and finally I thought of my own brothers, my father and his brother and how blessed we all have been through our lives to have one another.

Life changed this past Tuesday afternoon for my son Gabe.  He gained a little brother, a friend and sacred connection that I, as a father and brother, will share with them both.  I pray their connection will be built on the foundation that I can provide through the sharing of stories about their uncles and those other sacred brotherly ties.  Perhaps this is Liam's message to me. 

Peace,
Ray

Welcome Liam Hartley Gryder! Oh yes...he too was born on a Tuesday like his older brother.

"Waggie, ride, outside?"

Earlier this week, my 17 month old son Gabe uttered his first real sentence!  It was actually a question…at about 230 in the morning!!!   He is still getting used to his new room at the end of the hall and on occasion been waking up with a short cry.  On this occasion he was a bit more fussy and so, I gave in and went down to his room and brought him back to sit with mom and I until he quieted down.  I know, I know…wrong move, but if I hadn’t, Kim and I would have missed a special moment.  Very quietly, in the darkened room he gazed toward the window and said,

“Waggie, ride, outside?”

For those of you needing translation, that request was, ‘Wagon ride outside?’  Kim and I smiled at this very sincere request and gently and quietly explained that a wagon ride was not in the cards at that hour of the morning.

If you’re a regular follower, you know that I like to share positive stories of faith, family and fellowship.  This week I’ve been a little more diligent about following my friend and mentor, Derek Maul’s blog, (The Life-Charged Life).  http://derekmaul.wordpress.com/ 

This week he’s written about connecting with people everywhere and what the common thread is that holds us together; he’s explored communication and listening, especially at the close family level; he wrote too of the bonus of February 29 being an extra day to do some intentional living like you mean it.  His final post of the included this quote from his latest book, 'Reaching Toward Easter', 

“This journey together through Lent serves as an invitation to align the heart of our spiritual nature with the regenerative heart of God, sustainer and deliverer, to set our intention toward life and to align ourselves with the light…”

Gabe’s words, Derek’s writings, my recent speaking travels and the soon to come birth of Gabe’s lil’ brother, Liam have all been on my mind.  

A child's simple request-

It is truly astounding to see my son grow and begin his journey of life.  

I wonder why as adults we so easily lose sight of the excitement, the beauty, the inner growth and importance of our individual journey's.  Why do adults so easily cast people aside; not communicating, not listening or in all too many cases, not willing to listen?  Why do adults not seek the common threads of family and community that ultimately can so easily unite us all? 

An adult's complicated request-

It is truly astounding to see an adult stop growing and stagnate their lives.  

I wonder why as children we can so easily be excited by the beauty, the inner growth and importance of our individual journey's.  Why do children so easily embrace people; communicate and listen in truly amazing ways?  Why do children understand the common threads of family that ultimately so easily unite us all?  

Just interesting to look at it from those two perspectives of our lives and contemplate how at both times, all the time, we are in the arms of the sustainer and deliverer, setting our intentions toward the journey of life and aligning ourselves with the light.  How come we don't recognize it?

As we all reach toward Easter may we all recognize that we can reach out, even in the darkest hours with the simplest or the most difficult of requests.  Our spiritual parent is always there for all of us.   

I value the middle of the night moments with Gabe.

I value the middle of the night moments with God.

“Waggie, ride, outside?”

 

LET'S GO!!! 

 

"What has come into being in him was life, and the life was the light of all people.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." -John 1: 4-5.

Peace,

Ray

PS- Thanks Woodstock (VA) Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) for making me feel so at home on Sunday, Feb 26th.  I look forward to visiting with you again in the future.

 

 

 

 

Wait for God...

Wait for God, Be strong and let your heart take courage.

(Psalm 27:14)

I begin this week thinking about getting my heart and mind ready to go on the journey.  Waiting for God by being strong and letting my heart take courage.  I want to share with you over the next few days some scriptures as presented from a prayerbook given to me recently by my friend, Pastor Larry Hastings.  He graciously presented me with, "Praying with the Earth: A Prayerbook for Peace", by his friend, John Philip Newell. I hope you will take time to reflect upon these scriptures and your spiritual connection as we begin the journey of the Lenten season.  

Waiting... 

is something we all do.  Like everything else, some of us do it better than others.   I can remember my father coming home from work one day when I was a scrawny kid telling us about the hot dog he'd had for lunch that day while out on the job.  He'd most likely stopped at this tiny hole in the wall place called 'Richey's in my home town of Petersburg, VA.  I vaguely remember it as one of those places where there was this itty-bitty sliding window and maybe a small ledge to rest your arms on, but where, most adults would have to bend down to peer into and place
an order through the combined smell of sugary sodas and greasy spooned items.  Dad explained that he'd had a hot dog cooked in a little over 30 seconds in something called a microwave oven.  No longer did you have to wait those long dreaded minutes of either grilling or boiling.  He said he bit into it and burned his mouth it was so hot on the inside!  

Nowadays the microwave oven takes too long and that message or document we used to have to wait for in the form of something called a letter, just isn't fast enough in the form of a fax so we scan them in electronically and if they don't arrive instantly we get aggravated.

We shut off the computer in frustration, but we can reboot.

Waiting for God too is something we do.  We want answers instantly and if we don't get the answer we want, when we want, we get aggravated.

We shut God out in frustration.  Thanks be to God for the ability to restart.

Wait for God, Be strong and let your heart take courage.

Peace,

Ray